The Critters You’ll Meet

“You’re not cut out for Africa” David said.

“You think wives in Africa like their husbands putting cockroaches in the bed?” I questioned. Obviously, we have a difference of opinion on whether or not wildlife should co-exist in close quarters with (wo)man.

That was, by the way, the largest cockroach I had seen to date. Gross!

A few weeks later, I had a very bizarre dream. (Not out of the norm, as I have full-action, full-color, highly intense dreams every time I sleep.) My dream this particular night was that I fed colleagues pasta with millipedes.

They live on the tree in our driveway, and I am afraid they are going to fall on my head every time I beat out a rug on its trunk. In the dream, they started crawling out of the bowl and got into my hair. I woke up, and my whole head itched. I immediately prayed that if there was anything in my hair that God would get it out, and kill it. Really.

The next morning as I was making the bed, I saw a pile of dead cockroaches beside my pillow. I stopped counting at 13 as I swept them into the dustpan. (God answers prayer!)

On your next visit to Kola, shake out your slippers in the morning or you may find this little fellow greeting you…

…or this large one:

While here, we will provide you with the nicest accommodations possible and the finest cuisine (see aforementioned pasta). The cula were recently evicted from your suite:

As was this brown widow spider:

(Source)

And don’t worry about the bats in the guesthouse ceiling. We’re working on getting rid of those for you too.

If you spend time admiring the flowers around our house, you may see this huge, hissing beetle that attacked and bit Amelie three times yesterday…

…or a cute little inchworm. See it on the stick?

Maybe we’ll take you to an extremely remote mountain to pray. If you’re quiet, once we park under a lone tree and sit down in its shade to pray for the surrounding villages, An Eastern Green Mamba could slide down the trunk, out on a limb next to us, drop to the ground, and slither away. It will probably be the brightest green snake you have ever seen. (Totally hypothetically speaking, of course… eh-hem…)

(Source)

If you want, you can swap snake stories with our colleagues who were visited by this three foot spitting cobra:

In the early morning as we drive you back down the mountains on your way to the capital; just as the sun is rising over a million thatched roof huts, you might spy a troop of monkeys:

But, then again, maybe you won’t see anything but vultures sitting on the neighbor’s unfinished house.

Either way, we’ll be excited to see you!